Best Gifts for People with Alzheimer’s

Tips from 12 Caregiving Pros

To brighten long, gray days, recreate these sensations.

Expert #1: Deonisia Hernandez, CMA

House Manager & Caregiver

Care Haven Homes

People of all ages love small holiday surprises. Bring a little treat each time you visit. Share favorite candies or cookies with Mom, or bring a miniature bottle of lotion for a gentle hand massage. She’d also be thrilled with a new tube of lip balm, non-skid slipper socks or a pair of warm gloves.

(“Nonskid” is essential. If socks are too bulky to wear with shoes, then be sure they have a gripping surface on the bottom of the foot.)

Expert #2: Rosa Mendoza, CMA

House Manager & Caregiver

Care Haven Homes

Help Mom and Dad FEEL good. Our residents always look forward to Pajama Day, enjoying a cozy morning in PJs and robes. They’ll be proud to show off a new set.

Soft, flannel pillowcases and fuzzy blankets make excellent gifts. Some residents also like cuddling with lifelike baby dolls or soft stuffed animals.

Expert #3: Michael Fleming

Son of a Former Resident

Care Haven Homes

You can’t go wrong with warm, non-slip socks and full slippers for Mom or Dad. Give long-sleeve mock turtlenecks to the ladies and flannel shirts to Dad.

(Mike shows he’s an expert when he specifies “full slippers.” Avoid mule-style, backless slippers, because they might slip off and cause Mom or Dad to trip as they walk.)

Expert #4: Courtney Moses

Regional State Sales Manager

Advanced Home Health and Hospice

Make and share one of your family’s favorite holiday recipes. (I always looked forward to a serving of my grandmother’s layered green-and-red Jell-O with pineapple filling.) Serve your treat while browsing through holiday photos and reminiscing about past gatherings. You may find that you’re the one walking away with a gift: long-forgotten names and stories. Be sure to write them down so you can pass them on.

The Best Gifts for People with Alzheimer’s Keep Them Smiling

Be careful when stirring memories and emotions, as not all are happy. Do your best to keep Mom and Dad feeling good throughout the season. That may mean distracting them from negative thoughts by introducing pleasant new sights, smells, tastes and sounds.

Expert #5: Jenna Baker, LPN, BS, CDP

Director of Client Services

Always There Health Care

Bring joy. My holiday gift ideas are small, simple items – like a cookie or sweet treat and a picture book about past holidays – that evoke happy memories and feelings during your visit. On a tough day, recalling joy can help your loved one find peace.

It’s also okay to keep visits brief. Sometimes, out of guilt, we stay too long. People with dementia can quickly feel overwhelmed. Tired and eager to return to his routine, Dad probably prefers short, frequent visits.

Expert #5: Teresa Borger

Community Liaison

Spectrum Home Health

Create a calendar with pictures from your loved one’s past and display it in their room. Many scrapbooking supplies and online services are available, but you’ll save a lot by waiting for a seasonal sale.

Hint: If you don’t finish your calendar in time, then make it a New Year’s gift. Ask friends and family to bring scanned copies of their favorite photos to seasonal gatherings, or have them email high-resolution JPEGs. Once you’ve fulfilled your holiday obligations, use your “downtime” to finish the project.

(We’ll add a special request here: Please fill in birthdays, anniversaries and other important family milestones or events. These make great conversation starters for caregivers and visitors.)

Expert #7: Jane Knapp

Daughter of  a Former Resident

Care Haven Homes

Dad appreciated gifts that made life more comfortable. He particularly liked clothes designed for wheelchair users. We even found him a cape that was perfect for winter outings.

The cuddly blanket with sheepskin on one side and velveteen on the other was a big hit, as were new pajamas. Dad also loved it when we brought him popcorn, diet soda and cookies. He was thrilled to receive a new video or a personalized calendar with pictures of his kids and grandkids.

The best gift anyone can give, though, is time. Your loved one values that above all else. I often saw sullen residents light up when a family member arrived.

The Best Gifts for People with Alzheimer’s Create Special Moments

Jane makes a good point. In winter, some residents feel the loss of daylight. Things are sure to brighten up, though, when visitors arrive.

Even 20 minutes can make a big difference. Give them your full attention and try to stay calm, no matter what happens. Join them in their moment, just as they are today.

From Expert #8: Shelby Brown

Director of Facilities Management

Care Haven Homes

Give the gift of time together. Someone with dementia may forget the shirt or knick-knack you gave them. But they still feel the joy of seeing you walk through the door long after you’ve gone. (Watching their face light up is a gift to you.)

Your loved one enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just for a short visit. Light conversation, showing them current photos of the family or going for a walk in the backyard means a lot to them.

If you can’t visit, consider making a thoughtful personal gesture. Your home’s caregivers are happy to suggest ideas. They know whether your loved one needs a new blanket or slippers, is passionate about painting and puzzles or has been craving the candy another resident introduced them to. (See our article on Staying Connected When You Can’t Visit for more suggestions.)

From Expert #9: Deborah Garnett, RN, PhD

Daughter of a Former Resident

Care Haven Homes

Keep it simple and personal. Instead of giving an expensive Christmas gift, I treated Mom to fun times with family.

And, of course, there are many ways to give the gift of a better visit:

• I bought small craft projects, games or jigsaw puzzles, which I stored in my car. If Mom was in the mood at the start of a visit, I dashed out to grab one to work on together. (If she wasn’t interested, then I left everything in the car, keeping her room uncluttered.)
• I kept a digital photo album of Mom and different family members on my phone. I also kept a photo collage in her room, which we occasionally brought down for a closer look. Here’s a bonus tip: Mom was more engaged when we looked at pictures that included her, too!
• Bright flowers are always a hit. Mom enjoyed arranging them in a vase, then putting them on a table in the living room to share.
• She also loved it when I brought a bag of miniature candy bars. Again, Mom enjoyed having something she could share, beaming as she doled sweets out to caregivers and other residents.

And for an Even Better Visit

Whatever you bring, deliver it with the gift of a quiet visit. Go alone or with no more than three other people. Prepare to leave whenever your loved one appears tired, overwhelmed or agitated.

Most importantly, be sure everyone is healthy. DON’T bring the “gift” of a cold or flu to seniors whose immune systems are much weaker than yours.

DO, however, consider sharing a child’s infectious giggles and smiles with Mom or Dad. Many older adults love seeing babies and toddlers. Stay awhile if your little one is happily engaged, but bring your visit to a close as soon as she — or Mom — is ready for a nap.

Occasionally Become a Tour Director

Expert #10: Nori Nakamura

Owner

Musical Journey

Spending time together is a wonderful thing. Take your loved one to a restaurant, attend a Christmas concert or go on a driving tour of Christmas light displays. While they may not remember the details later, the joyful mood you create lasts well beyond the event.

(Just be careful while you’re out and about. Check out our five winter safety tips for seniors so everyone returns home safe and sound.)

The Best Gifts for People with Alzheimer’s Support, Stimulate & Engage

Alzheimer’s is a journey. This season, attempt to meet your loved one wherever the road has taken them. Use the past as a guide, but look for clues that it may be time for something new.

From Expert #11: Andrea Schneider, RN

Director of Nursing

Care Haven Homes

Keep in mind: Your loved one’s wants and needs may have changed since last year. They are not necessarily the same as those of other older adults you know or another resident.

Everyone is unique. Additionally, people’s passions, dislikes, abilities, attention spans and energy levels change over time. These changes can occur at different rates and times, especially for individuals with Alzheimer’s.

We offer a wide range of ideas in this article because there is no one-size-fits-all gift. I hope you’ll use the list to brainstorm with your loved one’s caregivers and nurses. They are experts at finding options that match your loved one’s current interests and needs.

In the early stages, they might recommend items that support or stimulate memory

• Pocket-sized calendar or notebook
• Dry-erase board
• Calendar with family members’ pictures and names

Or make life simpler and safer

• Digital clock with large numbers
• Night lights that automatically turn on at dusk

Or keep your loved one engaged

• Outings to movies, museums, plays or sporting events
• iPod with a personalized playlist
• DVDs of favorite musicals or TV shows (e.g., Gunsmoke, I Love Lucy, Golden Girls)

Later, we suggest gifts that pleasantly stimulate the senses. Our experts offer many ideas for those above.

Expert #12: Olivia Schufeldt

Associate Executive Director

Care Haven Homes

Give them the gift of connection. Growing up in Native American culture, I learned to honor our elders as guardians of wisdom and tradition. Because of this, I see the valuable contributions our residents continue to make every day.

Recognizing their importance to our family and community is one of the best gifts we can give to people with Alzheimer’s. Encourage them to keep passing down their stories, values and customs. Remind them that you still need their recipes, along with the names to the faces in the family album. And, of course, let them know you admire the way they embody strength, perseverance, love and grace.

Above all, let your loved one know how much you value them and the family treasures they’re entrusting to you.

Make It a Season – Not a Day – of Giving

Something Nori Nakamura said is worth repeating.

“While [your loved one] might not remember the details later, the joyful mood you create lasts long after. . . .”

So, don’t stress about giving the perfect gift on the day you’ve always celebrated. Instead, ask caregivers when your loved one’s house is quietest, when other residents and activities won’t distract them. Visit then, ignoring all the other dates and deadlines.

Enjoy any time you spend together. At the end of a visit, leave Mom or Dad with a comforting feeling that lasts for days. That, ultimately, is the best gift for people with Alzheimer’s.

Resources from other sites to help with this season’s visits

• The Alzheimer’s Association’s holiday guide: The Holidays and Alzheimers
• 5 Things to Never Say to a Person with Alzheimer’s